Skip to content

Court’s in Session

Defense Wizard is fashioning a handsome silk necktie around his client’s collar. He’s brought it from his own closet since Justin owns none. How pitiful he looks, as Pavao pulls the knot for him, unnatural, uncomfortable, and grateful. The apprentice for the State, Deputy District Attorney, and Nordic Knight for Right, Jake Christensen, is up at the Clerk’s desk making eyes at us, and jokes under his breath at the necktie ceremony. He is using the Clerk and me to warm up. He will be in full flirting form minutes into voir dire; although, Becky and I will let him flirt with us anytime. Becky is the blond, capital B on that, champagne blond. She doesn’t flash her eyes often, but at Jake she does. She is literally doe-eyed, with a soft dark brow. Jake is at least six-foot-two, 175 pounds — there is enough of him for both of us to flirt with.

Jake Christensen is a bright and handsome, long and lanky, young lawyer with an Elvis fixation of sorts and sculptor’s hands, strong, slender, and graceful. He has blue eyes, like Paul Newman’s, but Jake’s eyes are warmer. Three weeks ago, he spent 30 minutes after court trying to convince Becky, our court clerk, and me that the King is still alive. Jake Preslifies himself to the very distinct pleasure of the women he chooses for every jury, the more, the better; the prettier, the better. Becky and I have concluded this is adorable and deplorable all at once. He takes off his wedding ring for trials.

Ivan, our Bailiff, enters the room, “Jury’s coming’ in, Counsel.” Conversations end mid-sentence and everyone moves into position. Ivan was a helicopter pilot in Vietnam and helped to start LAPD’s airborne division. Our judge is blessed with him, as we all are. He keeps us safe from the bad guys. Ivan has salt and pepper hair, and a halo shines off it, as far as I am concerned. Every female juror over 35 who is looking for a cowboy, practically throws herself at him. In all, we are a great-looking crowd for a courtroom.

Published inCERTIFIED Quotes